Posts Tagged 'LIfestyle'

Falling in Love

So I met one of my rotation girls about a year ago on a dating site. She’s the girl from my “IM Game” blog post. She left for a couple months when I wouldn’t go exclusive with her, then came back for a few months.

A couple weeks ago we hung out and made dinner. She was acting unusually calm during the date — usually she’s a bit nervous around me. After she was dropping me off, she told me she was “done.” I asked her why, and it turned out she fell in love with me and couldn’t stand to be with me knowing that we weren’t exclusive boyfriend girlfriend — without pressuring me at all, since she correctly surmised it wasn’t an option for me. I could see she was in pain.

Now I could easily have tried to use some technique or other to get her to stick around. But it is never my intention to hurt someone intentionally. So, I calmly told her good luck and I really enjoyed our time together, and that I understood her decision. There was no way I was going to be in an exclusive relationship with her (if I ever will again), so it was the right decision. I’ve got plenty of girls and new opportunities constantly present themselves.

I’ll probably think twice if she calls back again. Even though her emotions are her responsibility, it might be pretty depressing hanging out with this chick that is in all sorts of pain because of her infatuation. In fact, I might be down for putting her in my friend zone if the chemistry settles down enough. It usually doesn’t work out that way, but I also haven’t ruled it out as a narrow possibility. Then again, people change, so I don’t want to categorically say whether I would date her again or not.

The great thing is, I’ve got choice. I have abundance in life, and am not operating from a place of scarcity like she seems to be. I see the classic female conundrum over and over. A beautiful woman wants to be in an exclusive relatioinship, but can’t find a guy that she is attracted to, so she either ends up in a boring, safe relationship with a classic “nice guy” (non-dominant guy that can’t get her blood pumping) or gets with a player who meets her need for excitement and sexual pleasure but won’t fall for her.

I’d rather be in the second category any day.

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Relationship Seekers

So I just sent off one of my rotation girls. She wanted to kick it all night here, but I wanted my valuable sleep time. Jake P and I just returned from the Chicago Workshop today, and she texted me earlier wondering if I was back yet. When I called her, she told me she wanted to come over and take advantage of me. We’ve been seeing each other three or four weeks.

A week ago she sent me a text that we “have no future.” I didn’t respond, and of course by the weekend she was bursting with curiosity and probably frustration. It’s not that I wanted to frustrate her, but comments like that don’t merit a response, not least because I don’t believe hers even has meaning. The only time that exists is now in my opinion — the future is a cipher.

After sex, she began with the questions (in italics). Here’s how I responded.

So you have a girlfriend right?
No, I have 900 girlfriends in cities around the world. I have twelve in Khartoum, three in Mogadishu, eleven in Kathmandu, a bunch in other cities with weird names, and the rest are in Antarctica.
I know you do. What’s her name?
Their names are … what’s an old school name? Oh yeah, Betty. Then there’s Ethel, Dorothy–
and Maude! [here she was playing along]
Exactly.

(later, cuddling after sex)
Do you love her?
I love a lot of things.
So, you do. I know you do.
I have a lot of love to give.
There’s a lot of LA Phil to go around.
I love the world.

State Control, Pt. 1

This past weekend, I coached the new Pickup Mansion students and found most of them had a lot of trouble controlling their mood in field. So I decided to make a speech about State Control. Below is the gist of what I told them.

What is State Control?

I define State Control as the ability to take actions which produce a desired State in yourself.

State Control is a skill. Furthermore, it’s an elite skill. Consumer culture discourages it, since it depends on people buying all sorts of things they don’t need. In fact, in Western Culture the media almost deny State Control’s existence. Marketing is designed to appeal to people’s natural desire to experience a great State. Naturally, lasting good State does not come from material possessions.

State Control assumes that State has an internal locus of control. That means that the ability to control your State lies within yourself, not outside. Most people in Western countries assume State arises from your external circumstances, like your environment, genes, and upbringing. It’s my experience that that opinion is not only disempowering, but total bullshit.

State Control is a bit rare in our society. But it is not that difficult to develop. It’s mostly a matter of building a habit.

I have a family member who refuses to realize this fact of life. He is a great person, but has a pretty bad lifestyle, because he is totally at the mercy of his State. He is completely reliant upon external circumstances — things, people, and events outside his locus of control — to determine his State. As a result, he is susceptible to all sorts of addictive and obsessive behavior patterns which develop when he relies upon external State-changers.

Many people use drugs or other methods of self-medication to regulate their States. The problem with such methods is that it once again places the locus of control out of oneself. Using drugs (video games, porn, etc.) for State Control is a submissive behavior.

Practicing State Control is one way to be dominant in your life. Giving your environment control over your State is being submissive to your environment. Using State Control is being dominant over your environment. Another way to be dominant over your environment is to change it directly. This can loop back and change your State indirectly. Changing your situation is a more obvious thing and not part of this blog post.

Dominance is an overall characteristic of your personality. Women are attracted to dominant men. Look for ways to increase your dominance in everyday life. The more angles you find to be dominant from, the better.

State Control is one of the secrets of high-value men in our society. Submissiveness can be expected in high-value women, so State Control is often not an issue for them. But high-value men are never submissive.

What States are desired in Life?

Everyone has States which they desire in life. Often they include happiness, freedom, excitement, exuberance, euphoria, calmness, contentedness, and inner peace.

Being able to produce such States in oneself naturally can greatly increase your quality of life. In fact, State Control is one of the secrets to living a happy, exciting, satisfying, fulfilled life. What are your desired States in life?

What States are best for pickup?

Good state is like iron in the blood. Without it, an animal (your game) can still live, but it is listless — anemic. It feels like work. With it, all the processes work much more smoothly. The animal has the energy to achieve its ends. Good State will supercharge game that is technically sound, giving it life and effectiveness.

I like to be talkative, externally-focused, and present while in field. Usually warmups are enough to get me in this state. But if I am in a very introverted mood I will do some of the Brad P Social Freedom Exercises to get in State.

An important part of this State is having relatively little self-talk. That means very little thinking.

I also like to be positive in field. On the inside, I will think about the things in my life I’m grateful for and the good things that are going on in my life. Outwardly, I like to compliment strangers (women I’m not attracted to, and men) and notice and point out cool things in the environment.

I game best in a sexual State, too. Other than having good health and sex drive, I will do things like imagine sex with the girl I’m talking to while gaming in order to amplify my sexual State.

What States do you find useful or fun for pickup?

Next article, I will dive into some specific techniques for State Control that you can begin using right away.

Rotationland

The title is Jake P‘s term for the vibe of having a rotation. This is just a quick peak into that lifestyle.

I’ve got three girls on the go at the moment, not including the girl from the LR from the weekend, and I have a couple dates coming up with new girls as well.

One of my girls texted me today because she has free tickets to see a famous musician. I’m going to the museum in a couple days with the artsy one. And tonight, I had over this social circle girl I’ve been seeing.

This girl has a boyfriend of several years. He sounds like a loser, but I don’t pry. She’s obviously not happy in her relationship and she feels sexually unsatisfied by him. So I provide pleasure and satisfaction to her. Tonight things got pretty intense in the sack. She loves dirty talk. I made her say she was my little slut. I spanked her ass till it was red. Then I slapped her face a little and she said she liked that.

After we finished, I got really inspired to work on a new project. So I told her to get herself a drink, whatever she wanted from the fridge. This girl understands my dedication to my goals so she stays out of my way at times like these. As I was working away, I pointed over to my laundry and told her to fold it.

I got a nice bit done on this project and my laundry is all folded and put away now. Have I mentioned I love my life? Probably. But it bears repeating.

Approach Anxiety Doesn’t Exist

There Is No Approach Anxiety

I had a student the other night who said “I have a little approach anxiety.”

I immediately told him “Nah you’re just excited.”

We have a tendency to jump to conclusions when it comes to emotions. It’s a widely known fact that emotions often boil down to a simple body sensation in combination with a thought.

chillax

What does rejection feel like? For me, it was a pressure in my chest. Loss? Dropping feeling in the stomach. Joy? Surging in the solar plexus. What are the actual sensations of your emotions?

It’s expedient to have shorthand words like “sad” “lonely” “angry” and “enthusiastic” for these sensations that combine with thoughts, so that we can communicate them. A problem arises, however, when we become attached to such sensations. We believe that they define us for that instant. They seem so hard to overcome at times.

The Basic Reframe

Negative emotions usually aren’t useful to me. I like to use a technique that I did not by any means invent, when confronted by an emotion I have deemed useless to me:

  1. As soon as the emotion arises, if it is unpleasant I immediately dis-identify with it. What I mean is I don’t consider it to be part of my being.
  2. Then, I observe very closely what I am feeling and thinking, with no judgement.
  3. Lastly, I reframe the sensations as neutral things, which is what they are.

So, I never get approach anxiety anymore. I do get a little adrenaline and feel my heartbeat speed up before an approach, but that’s just my body getting ready to mate. I never feel rejection anymore, though sometimes my body tries to make adjustments when I leave a set in order to calm my nervous system down since it suddenly doesn’t think I’m going to mate anymore.

The Wrapper

I get angry a couple times a year. Because it’s so rare and because I actually find it useful to motivate me, I really enjoy the anger while it lasts. I say “while it lasts” because wrapping an emotion in another emotion will usually transform the original one. Naturally because I’m not fighting it, the anger tends to subside rather quickly, to be replaced by the parts I’m enjoying, which are the energy and motivation. Negative emotions thrive on resistance. Accept your sensations when they arise. Just observe them.

This is another very useful technique to transform emotions from one to another:

  1. Identify an emotion and its constituent sensations/thoughts you would like to transform.
  2. Get a positive emotion about it.

Try it some time. Get grateful that you’re sad. You don’t need a reason. Get excited about your rejection. (I use that a lot.) Get joyful about your frustration. You can even chain them. Be excited about your gratitude for being sad! Be enthusiastic about your enjoyment of your disappointment! Keep tooling until you find the most effective combinations.

State-break tools like these are priceless. When you get in the habit of disidentifying with your emotions, you’ll be that much more centered in your real identity, which is something much deeper than a few sensations. Try it out and let me know how it goes.

LR: Lazy Saturday Night

My week has been pretty awesome. Started it with some amazing sex with one of my girls. Couple days later met a slammin hot 21yo tourist chick on a crosstown bus, had an instadate and made out with her over dinner.

Tonight I was feeling pretty lazy, so I just sent out a mass text to a bunch of cold approach chicks’ numbers. I got a few replies, but one was obviously in Critical Slut Mode. That’s what Brad and I call a girl who is just out to get laid, and all you gotta do is show up.

So I showed up. I originally met this chick while out with Jake P like 3 months ago. That night, I was flirting with her and she seemed extremely attracted to me. She was into the kino and we even made out, but she seemed a bit put off as well, conflicted. Eventually she called her male friend in to cockblock because she was frazzled. She even made out with him in front of me, which was weird because he was not gay.

So I got the # and bailed. I texted her a few times but she wasn’t very responsive, so I let the connection slack for a couple months, then texted out of the blue last nite, Saturday, at like 11pm.

She was super responsive. In the sms convo (mostly logistic, “where ru” type stuff and gathering her logistics for the nite — she was with two guy friends) she even mentioned she wanted to make out, and lastly that if she couldn’t get me into the bar they were in (due to the line) she would simply leave with me (!).

But I knew she was in Critical Slut Mode well before she mentioned making out. Right near the beginning of the sms convo, she sent “I’m going buck wild tonight.” Ding ding ding! That’s when I got off my ass and got some pants on. Sure sign she’s looking for action.

Met her at the bar, her two friends were chill, didn’t cockblock at all. In fact she felt comfortable making out with me right in front of them. She was saying things like “You are so sexy.” (“Thanks!”) “I thought you were so hot when we met. But I had a boyfriend so I had to get my friend to stop me so I wouldn’t do something bad.” (“Tonight you can be a bad, bad girl with me.”) “You are so hot. I bet you have girls hitting on you all the time.” (sly smile)

We went with one of her buddies back to his place for a drink. Turns out it was right near my pad, how convenient. She was like, do you wanna go back to your place? I said I wanted to hang for a sec, so we chilled until I felt a little tired, then we were out. No resistance of any kind anywhere. Got back to my place, escalated. Zero LMR and she was good in the sack. Took a load in the mouth like a champ. God bless her heart, as Jake would say.

The sun is rising over Hollywood. If you pay your dues, sometimes you really can kick back and let your previous sarging carry you on a lazy night like that one. Maybe I’ll hit the beach today.

Happy Memorial Day!

Pros and Cons of Festival Game

I just got back from Coachella, which is a big music festival in the desert. LA is the biggest major city near it, so a lot of Angelenos go every year.

You may have gathered from my alias name that I am into music. So naturally, the main reason I went was to check out a bunch of cutting-edge bands. I didn’t realize just what I was getting myself into.

I heard some great music and had an amazing time. I had a great time hanging with new and old friends. But that’s not all.

This year, Coachella sold out, so there were over 75,000 people there. It was packed. I estimate half were girls and the average age to be 20. Lots of high school kids on drugs. There were a lot of scantily-clad beautiful girls. Literally, thousands. That was a pretty interesting experience. Definitely takes the urgency out of approaching.

My wing Ukie and I discussed how bad the logistics are there.

  • There are multiple stages with constant music, so people are often hurrying from one to the next trying to catch the bands they spent all their money and time to go hear. Then when you get there, girls are fascinated by the bands. (Basically, bands cockblock you because there’s like no way for you to be as cool as the rockstars on stage.)
  • I assume for the people camping next to the festival it must be a little better, but we were staying in a house 15 miles away. People are all over the place, so pulling to a house can be tough outside your social circle.
  • A lot of the girls are under the statutory age in California (18).
  • Many girls are in a large group chock-full of cockblocks.
  • The festival is not only crowded but very well organized so there are no out of the way corners or nooks. Isolation is virtually impossible.

So I really had no intention of approaching. Really. It just sorta happened.

I was going to get a snack, as I didn’t really need to see any bands for an hour or so. I saw a young cute girl sitting alone in the food area. Lone wolves are not common at these festivals. I went and got my snack and sat down next to her with the classic “sorry I’m late.” I gave her no eye contact, playing up the “we already know each other” vibe. She was pretty unresponsive. I just plowed, saying whatever came into my head, not really asking her questions about herself, more making comments on the shows I saw and the crazy people all around us.

I treated her like a girl who already had a crush on me and I wasn’t sure if I was annoyed by her or a little into it. She gave lots of direct IODs (indicators of disinterest) like turning her body away a little, saying things like “I’m not interested in you that way” and “Don’t touch me like that” I know better than to listen to that nonsense. If she’s still sitting there, she’s interested on some level. In fact, I was touching much more conservatively than I normally do because of all her IODs. (See the other set below to compare.)

When she said these things, I would immediately mirror her disinterest by turning even farther away from her, looking out at the crowd, and maybe saying a tease back like “you’re just saying that because you’re into me” or “ur such a brat” with very flirty tonality.

Finally after like 4 or 5 of these exchanges (with some more normal fluff talk between, during which time we made EC and I noticed how hot and young she was) she couldn’t contain herself anymore. She asked me 3 questions about me all in a row. It was as if the intrigue and attraction were steadily building and she was trying to suppress it but then it overflowed. Naturally I called her on it.

Her: Wait, where are you from? Who did you come with? What, um what is it you do anyways?
Me: Ha, that’s so cute, you are so into me, I don’t even know which of your questions to answer.

Here, I made some very accurate cold reads, making sure to include some female truisms to bolster my actual cold reads. It’s not hard to make cold reads when you’ve done a lot of approaches. I can tell a lot about a chick after interacting with her for 15 minutes. It’s not that hard really. Things like “you don’t let a lot of people in to your inner life — you have a secret world that maybe only your best gay friend or girlfriend knows about. you’re actually pretty kinky deep inside. your secret is safe with me.”

From there we started building a little rapport. She is 20 years old. Then I moved her 20 feet into the shade. I got her logistics — she was camping and came with new friends she didn’t know that well yet. Bingo. (If I had been camping it would have been better but still not great, because she had to meet her friends later, etc.) I was kinoing a lot, and she was still expressing verbal resistance to it, but not physical — that was key and one big reason I hung in there and didn’t eject and find another girl. If a girl is resisting kino consistently, she has a sexual hangup or some other barrier to sex.

Then I had to take a raging piss, so we went to the outdoor toilet booths. This had the effect of a soft takeaway, as when I got back she was kinda dancing to the music next door. I started dancing with her, and immediately her hands were all over my body and mine hers. I took her to the music tent nearby, and we were dancing sexy. It was like she got all her resistance done with in the beginning of the interaction. I passed all her tests and she was just 100% into it.

For a couple of hours it was like being at Coachella with a girlfriend. We ground each other, made out, stared deeply into each others’ eyes, and experienced some shows together. Call me a romantic, but that was my favorite part of the experience. I did have a couple hiccups when she said things like “you’re a player, why do I always fall for players?” (Uh, duh, because you give so much resistance and only players have enough game to persist) and “I bet you do this with girls all the time.. you’re a charmer” … basically I made sure to give her a couple small SOIs (statements of interest) like “you have hidden soulful depths in your beautiful green eyes” — true btw.

But I wasn’t gonna just leave it there. Keeping my eyes peeled on the way to her campspot (where I could not enter), I lucked out and found a little storage area by the exits that was abandoned and fenced off. Pulled her back there and fingered her and sucked on her tits while she moaned and twitched and the crowds filed past like five feet behind me but on the other side of an opaque fence. Good times.

Next day we were supposed to meet, but either she flaked or saw me with this other girl and bailed — she seemed like the jealous type, really. No prob, we have been texting since and she is traveling around, will probably stop by LA to see me. Here’s how the other interaction went down.

I was in the same concession area the next day just chilling among the grass and mashed fries. There is a couple sitting next to me, resting too. The dude opens me saying he likes my hat and we chat. He’s drunk, laid back and very friendly. His girl is friendly too. We introduce. Turns out they are from LA too. Then their hot friend joins us.

They introduce her to me, and I just shake her hand and say my name with a warm smile. We continue chatting for about 3 minutes, and as soon as I have an opportunity, I begin to roleplay with the new girl.

Me: Wow, the crowds are really young this year. How old are you guys?
Girl1: 25
Me: Yeah, these kids are like 15, chomping down E all day long. Would you let your kids go to this without supervision?
Girl1: No I don’t think so!
Me (kinoing leg of HotGirl): That’s why HotGirl and I make sure our kids know all the risks of coming to events like this. In fact, I just have her debrief the kids about it. If anything really goes wrong, I step in and sort it out.
HotGirl: Yeah! I will take care of it honey. You’re such a great dad.
Me: You’re the best wife ever. In fact, I think we should make another baby…

I moved toward her and she just laid down under me, and I began dryhumping her for about 10 seconds. 5 minutes after I met her. She LOVED it. I cut it short to keep sexual tension high. From there I just watched to see when her friends weren’t looking, and escalated her by kinoing her ass and thighs, and hair. Then I made out with her, making sure to stop first. She was giving IOIs like “Oh my god you’re so good.” “I so needed that.” “I’m so glad I met you, I was like how does a girl get some action around here.”

She had her HOT legs up and I told her to put one down and stared at her ass saying that it would be hot to film that. Then she got out her video camera and started interviewing the dude. they were all lying on their backs, so I just started rubbing her thighs and pussy during her interview.

I remember the 3rd makeout she cut off. So I just turned the other way and stared up at the clouds and said dreamily, half to myself, “Wow the clouds are amazing today . . .” She laughed in delight because she knew I was mirroring her disinterest and loved it. I kino’d her ass and pussy for a few minutes more then they went off to a show. I #closed her and got a text the day she got back from Coachella. Definitely going to follow up with her.

All in all, I really put NO effort into game and got some good results at Coachella this year. That made me have an even better time, and since I went for the music, I made sure not to miss any bands I really wanted to see. Gotta keep those values in line. What a great experience.


What I Can Offer You

I do one-on-one instruction in addition to the workshops I teach. Also, I'm available for phone consultations. Call Drew at BradP.com for details:
+1 (702) 516-8879

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Here is what some students have said about their experiences coaching with me:

"Brad, along with LA Phil, were probably the best, most accurate, most perceptive, most caring, most concerned, most legit teachers I have ever had. I am so fucking impressed."

"LA Phil has some insanely strong inner game, which really shines through with how he handles shit tests from girls."

"LA Phil just kept very positive and kept reframing everything into the positive of what I could do and then move forward from there. He never talked down to me or took any misstep as a blow to his ego as a teacher."

"I would recommend that anyone take a 1 on 1 with LA Phil to get their game evaluated, sized up, and improved and to see some great examples of someone who really has this down to a T."

"LA Phil and Jake P are simply phenomenal, both in skill and in coaching."

"LA Phil is a great coach . . . He helped fix my voice tonality and body positioning when opening girls. He was really good at pushing me into difficult sets."

"Go for a one-on-one with LA Phil. You will improve drastically after one session as long as you stay focused and aware."

Brad P.

Voted #1 Pickup Artist in the World