Archive Page 2

State Control, Pt. 1

This past weekend, I coached the new Pickup Mansion students and found most of them had a lot of trouble controlling their mood in field. So I decided to make a speech about State Control. Below is the gist of what I told them.

What is State Control?

I define State Control as the ability to take actions which produce a desired State in yourself.

State Control is a skill. Furthermore, it’s an elite skill. Consumer culture discourages it, since it depends on people buying all sorts of things they don’t need. In fact, in Western Culture the media almost deny State Control’s existence. Marketing is designed to appeal to people’s natural desire to experience a great State. Naturally, lasting good State does not come from material possessions.

State Control assumes that State has an internal locus of control. That means that the ability to control your State lies within yourself, not outside. Most people in Western countries assume State arises from your external circumstances, like your environment, genes, and upbringing. It’s my experience that that opinion is not only disempowering, but total bullshit.

State Control is a bit rare in our society. But it is not that difficult to develop. It’s mostly a matter of building a habit.

I have a family member who refuses to realize this fact of life. He is a great person, but has a pretty bad lifestyle, because he is totally at the mercy of his State. He is completely reliant upon external circumstances — things, people, and events outside his locus of control — to determine his State. As a result, he is susceptible to all sorts of addictive and obsessive behavior patterns which develop when he relies upon external State-changers.

Many people use drugs or other methods of self-medication to regulate their States. The problem with such methods is that it once again places the locus of control out of oneself. Using drugs (video games, porn, etc.) for State Control is a submissive behavior.

Practicing State Control is one way to be dominant in your life. Giving your environment control over your State is being submissive to your environment. Using State Control is being dominant over your environment. Another way to be dominant over your environment is to change it directly. This can loop back and change your State indirectly. Changing your situation is a more obvious thing and not part of this blog post.

Dominance is an overall characteristic of your personality. Women are attracted to dominant men. Look for ways to increase your dominance in everyday life. The more angles you find to be dominant from, the better.

State Control is one of the secrets of high-value men in our society. Submissiveness can be expected in high-value women, so State Control is often not an issue for them. But high-value men are never submissive.

What States are desired in Life?

Everyone has States which they desire in life. Often they include happiness, freedom, excitement, exuberance, euphoria, calmness, contentedness, and inner peace.

Being able to produce such States in oneself naturally can greatly increase your quality of life. In fact, State Control is one of the secrets to living a happy, exciting, satisfying, fulfilled life. What are your desired States in life?

What States are best for pickup?

Good state is like iron in the blood. Without it, an animal (your game) can still live, but it is listless — anemic. It feels like work. With it, all the processes work much more smoothly. The animal has the energy to achieve its ends. Good State will supercharge game that is technically sound, giving it life and effectiveness.

I like to be talkative, externally-focused, and present while in field. Usually warmups are enough to get me in this state. But if I am in a very introverted mood I will do some of the Brad P Social Freedom Exercises to get in State.

An important part of this State is having relatively little self-talk. That means very little thinking.

I also like to be positive in field. On the inside, I will think about the things in my life I’m grateful for and the good things that are going on in my life. Outwardly, I like to compliment strangers (women I’m not attracted to, and men) and notice and point out cool things in the environment.

I game best in a sexual State, too. Other than having good health and sex drive, I will do things like imagine sex with the girl I’m talking to while gaming in order to amplify my sexual State.

What States do you find useful or fun for pickup?

Next article, I will dive into some specific techniques for State Control that you can begin using right away.

Rotationland

The title is Jake P‘s term for the vibe of having a rotation. This is just a quick peak into that lifestyle.

I’ve got three girls on the go at the moment, not including the girl from the LR from the weekend, and I have a couple dates coming up with new girls as well.

One of my girls texted me today because she has free tickets to see a famous musician. I’m going to the museum in a couple days with the artsy one. And tonight, I had over this social circle girl I’ve been seeing.

This girl has a boyfriend of several years. He sounds like a loser, but I don’t pry. She’s obviously not happy in her relationship and she feels sexually unsatisfied by him. So I provide pleasure and satisfaction to her. Tonight things got pretty intense in the sack. She loves dirty talk. I made her say she was my little slut. I spanked her ass till it was red. Then I slapped her face a little and she said she liked that.

After we finished, I got really inspired to work on a new project. So I told her to get herself a drink, whatever she wanted from the fridge. This girl understands my dedication to my goals so she stays out of my way at times like these. As I was working away, I pointed over to my laundry and told her to fold it.

I got a nice bit done on this project and my laundry is all folded and put away now. Have I mentioned I love my life? Probably. But it bears repeating.

LR: Repeat after me

Last night I was coaching a 1-on-1 with a 30-30 student (AcquiredTaste for those of you on the 30-30 forum). He did great. Got out of his comfort zone, tried some new things, and got some better results.

Around 1am we ended up in a crowded dance bar in Hollywood. As we are pushing through the dense crowd toward the back, a short, cute girl heads toward me with a beer in her hand, also pushing through the crowd.

Me: Drink up! [eye contact]
Her: You drink up!
Me: Now you’re trying to get me drunk? [kino arm]
Her: You’re trying to get me drunk!
Me: Oh no. You’re trouble. [sexual EC, pulling her in from waist]
Her: You’re trouble!
Me: [grab back of neck and speak into ear] Listen little girl. You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.

beer breasts

Heavy EC, she gives me “the look” for about 1 second, then she comes in for the makeout. She’s a good kisser. I feel up her big tits a little. We make out for a few seconds. I stop it first. I ask her who she’s there with. She is avoiding. I can tell her logistics must be bad. She tells me she has to leave now. I’m thinking maybe I can find a place in the back of the bar to escalate her instead.

Even though she said she has to go, I pull her by the hand to the back of the bar. She is gripping tight. I pull her (AcquiredTaste in tow) to the back of the bar, more makeout. This is about 90 seconds after “drink up.” I attempt to take a tit out to suck on it, but she doesn’t allow. But it seems that her guy friends were just walking by us at that moment. She asks me to hide her. I open my jacket and she ducks in. Not sure if it’s working but it’s fun. I ask her name and tell her I’ll protect her. We make out a little more, then she says “he’s waiting” and she has to go. I tell her we will hang out in an hour (when I’m done coaching). The interaction lasted about 6 minutes.

Afterwards AcquiredTaste told me a girl whose number I got about an hour earlier was watching the entire approach makeout from ten feet away. I had noticed her when we walked in, but couldn’t see her above the crowd during this approach. I’ll probably text that other girl soon.

I go back to coaching AcquireTaste until we wrap up a little after 2am. I call the makeout girl around 2:15. She picks up. I hear dudes’ voices in the background. She is drunker. I try to get logistics but she is too distracted. The line disconnects. I chalk it up to another crazy night on the town. No worries.

I drop by a friend’s and start watching a movie. We’re chilling when around 3:15am I get a text from her: “Where r u?”

For me, that translates to “I am ready to fuck NOW.” We text back and forth a bit. She won’t text her address, so I call her. I am really chill and laid back. She is compliant. She tells me how to get to her place & hints she wants more alcohol. I get some vodka from my place. I get there and she’s not too drunk at all. This makes me happy. And horny.

She has a cute cat. I pet it. I pour a couple drinks. We get about 3 sips in. No LMR (as usual). I dug the way she screamed and moaned.

Why Being Short is an Asset in Pickup, Part 2

Last time, I talked about how, if you’re short, space and position in the field are your friend. You can get closer to girls without weirding them out, and you can slide in between the spaces that taller guys operate in.

Now I’d like to talk about the emotional side of Short Guy Game. It’s my opinion that anything that could cause you to be embarrassed, but doesn’t, turns into an advantage. When you respond nonchalantly to challenges of this sort (someone attempting to tease you, for example), you gain even more status.

How does this apply to Short Guys? Well, any time someone tries to bring up my height, I just frame it how I want. If a guy is threatened by my game (happens pretty often) and has enough balls to challenge me directly (doesn’t happen often), with something like “Hey man the midget convention’s next door,” I will respond with a mischievous half-smile and something like “Hey man, you don’t have to feel insecure just because I’m shorter than you.”

Not only is that statement confusing, it’s also very dominant. Perfect to neutralize a guy who is trying to trip you up.

If a girl says something like “You’re too short for me” I might respond with something like “I’m the shortest guy in the world” and go back to what I was saying. That shows I’m comfortable with my height, which is by far the most important part of Short Guy Game.

Seriously, are you comfortable with your height? Anything you’re not comfortable with, your girl will pick up on, and also be uncomfortable with. So get that handled, bro. Do some reframing or use other psychological techniques to get comfortable with yourself on all levels.

During the description of the type of responses I give to guys who try to test me, I mentioned it doesn’t happen often. That is one of the huge advantages to being smaller. Guys just aren’t that intimidated by us, so they don’t get aggressive as often.

My taller wings have to deal with violent guys moderately often, and it is a waste of time. They would rather be talking to chicks and getting laid than having to diffuse some insecure drunk idiot. It’s not hard to do it if you know how, but it can be an annoyance. I’ve been physically challenged by guys only a handful of times in thousands of sets.

It’s much easier to work under the radar for us Short Guys. We can pull a girl in stealth mode. Stealth mode is virtually unheard-of for a guy like Brad P. He towers over the crowd so anything he does is public knowledge. Occasionally I like to run high-energy big game to get the maximum notice from a crowd too. But it’s great to be able to switch up techniques depending on the energy level of the venue, etc.

Lastly, any perceived disadvantage that you turn to an advantage is inherently attractive! In other words, the bar is lower, so when you have good game and you’re short, it’s doubly impressive and attractive. Girls think, rightly so, that overcoming what they see as obstacles is ballsy and sexy.

Just don’t let ’em know that being short is actually an advantage in pickup! It’s our secret.

Approach Anxiety Doesn’t Exist

There Is No Approach Anxiety

I had a student the other night who said “I have a little approach anxiety.”

I immediately told him “Nah you’re just excited.”

We have a tendency to jump to conclusions when it comes to emotions. It’s a widely known fact that emotions often boil down to a simple body sensation in combination with a thought.

chillax

What does rejection feel like? For me, it was a pressure in my chest. Loss? Dropping feeling in the stomach. Joy? Surging in the solar plexus. What are the actual sensations of your emotions?

It’s expedient to have shorthand words like “sad” “lonely” “angry” and “enthusiastic” for these sensations that combine with thoughts, so that we can communicate them. A problem arises, however, when we become attached to such sensations. We believe that they define us for that instant. They seem so hard to overcome at times.

The Basic Reframe

Negative emotions usually aren’t useful to me. I like to use a technique that I did not by any means invent, when confronted by an emotion I have deemed useless to me:

  1. As soon as the emotion arises, if it is unpleasant I immediately dis-identify with it. What I mean is I don’t consider it to be part of my being.
  2. Then, I observe very closely what I am feeling and thinking, with no judgement.
  3. Lastly, I reframe the sensations as neutral things, which is what they are.

So, I never get approach anxiety anymore. I do get a little adrenaline and feel my heartbeat speed up before an approach, but that’s just my body getting ready to mate. I never feel rejection anymore, though sometimes my body tries to make adjustments when I leave a set in order to calm my nervous system down since it suddenly doesn’t think I’m going to mate anymore.

The Wrapper

I get angry a couple times a year. Because it’s so rare and because I actually find it useful to motivate me, I really enjoy the anger while it lasts. I say “while it lasts” because wrapping an emotion in another emotion will usually transform the original one. Naturally because I’m not fighting it, the anger tends to subside rather quickly, to be replaced by the parts I’m enjoying, which are the energy and motivation. Negative emotions thrive on resistance. Accept your sensations when they arise. Just observe them.

This is another very useful technique to transform emotions from one to another:

  1. Identify an emotion and its constituent sensations/thoughts you would like to transform.
  2. Get a positive emotion about it.

Try it some time. Get grateful that you’re sad. You don’t need a reason. Get excited about your rejection. (I use that a lot.) Get joyful about your frustration. You can even chain them. Be excited about your gratitude for being sad! Be enthusiastic about your enjoyment of your disappointment! Keep tooling until you find the most effective combinations.

State-break tools like these are priceless. When you get in the habit of disidentifying with your emotions, you’ll be that much more centered in your real identity, which is something much deeper than a few sensations. Try it out and let me know how it goes.

Phone Game

old phone

Lots of students ask me about phone game. The most important thing is to pick up the phone and do it.

These days I mostly call girls as the first contact after getting her number. Texting is only to get a little back and forth going after we’ve spoken on the phone. Avoid being a “text friend” (friend zone where you never meet again in person).



Here are my rules for phone calls:

  • never leave voicemail
  • 6-12 minute call
  • Right away, get her out of whatever mood she was in, and into my world
  • Flirt
  • Go for soft meet close and see if she picks up the hint. If not, chat and flirt some more then try for the meetup close more directly.

Here are my rules for texts, followed by examples:

  • initial text very short — 2-3 words is perfect – “hey wizard girl” (this girl liked Dungeons & Dragons cartoon)
  • if possible keep my texts a little shorter than hers (word length) she: “i had a good time but there was this guy that kept following me im glad rachel was there to protect me!” me: “you can come be my rachel and fight off creepy girls for me 2nite”
  • dont go for meet close over text if u can get her on the phone – “gotta run. call u bout 8”
  • mirror interest level and/or vibe. a lot of my text exchanges build comfort because of this – she: “can’t wait to see you!!” me: “we’re gonna have sooooo much fun”
  • flirt if she responds to playful tone – she: “haha you are crazy boy :D” me: “were gonna get crazy 2gether”
  • use direct commands – “be @ the fountain at the grove at 3:17pm. dress sexy & skimpy, but bring a jacket & heels.”

Texts offer a lot of leeway for misunderstanding. Use that to your advantage by texting things with double meaning then tease her when she doesn’t get it, etc. But watch out when setting up logistics over text, as this can bite you in the ass too. Be super clear when it comes to logistics.

LR: Lazy Saturday Night

My week has been pretty awesome. Started it with some amazing sex with one of my girls. Couple days later met a slammin hot 21yo tourist chick on a crosstown bus, had an instadate and made out with her over dinner.

Tonight I was feeling pretty lazy, so I just sent out a mass text to a bunch of cold approach chicks’ numbers. I got a few replies, but one was obviously in Critical Slut Mode. That’s what Brad and I call a girl who is just out to get laid, and all you gotta do is show up.

So I showed up. I originally met this chick while out with Jake P like 3 months ago. That night, I was flirting with her and she seemed extremely attracted to me. She was into the kino and we even made out, but she seemed a bit put off as well, conflicted. Eventually she called her male friend in to cockblock because she was frazzled. She even made out with him in front of me, which was weird because he was not gay.

So I got the # and bailed. I texted her a few times but she wasn’t very responsive, so I let the connection slack for a couple months, then texted out of the blue last nite, Saturday, at like 11pm.

She was super responsive. In the sms convo (mostly logistic, “where ru” type stuff and gathering her logistics for the nite — she was with two guy friends) she even mentioned she wanted to make out, and lastly that if she couldn’t get me into the bar they were in (due to the line) she would simply leave with me (!).

But I knew she was in Critical Slut Mode well before she mentioned making out. Right near the beginning of the sms convo, she sent “I’m going buck wild tonight.” Ding ding ding! That’s when I got off my ass and got some pants on. Sure sign she’s looking for action.

Met her at the bar, her two friends were chill, didn’t cockblock at all. In fact she felt comfortable making out with me right in front of them. She was saying things like “You are so sexy.” (“Thanks!”) “I thought you were so hot when we met. But I had a boyfriend so I had to get my friend to stop me so I wouldn’t do something bad.” (“Tonight you can be a bad, bad girl with me.”) “You are so hot. I bet you have girls hitting on you all the time.” (sly smile)

We went with one of her buddies back to his place for a drink. Turns out it was right near my pad, how convenient. She was like, do you wanna go back to your place? I said I wanted to hang for a sec, so we chilled until I felt a little tired, then we were out. No resistance of any kind anywhere. Got back to my place, escalated. Zero LMR and she was good in the sack. Took a load in the mouth like a champ. God bless her heart, as Jake would say.

The sun is rising over Hollywood. If you pay your dues, sometimes you really can kick back and let your previous sarging carry you on a lazy night like that one. Maybe I’ll hit the beach today.

Happy Memorial Day!


What I Can Offer You

I do one-on-one instruction in addition to the workshops I teach. Also, I'm available for phone consultations. Call Drew at BradP.com for details:
+1 (702) 516-8879

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Here is what some students have said about their experiences coaching with me:

"Brad, along with LA Phil, were probably the best, most accurate, most perceptive, most caring, most concerned, most legit teachers I have ever had. I am so fucking impressed."

"LA Phil has some insanely strong inner game, which really shines through with how he handles shit tests from girls."

"LA Phil just kept very positive and kept reframing everything into the positive of what I could do and then move forward from there. He never talked down to me or took any misstep as a blow to his ego as a teacher."

"I would recommend that anyone take a 1 on 1 with LA Phil to get their game evaluated, sized up, and improved and to see some great examples of someone who really has this down to a T."

"LA Phil and Jake P are simply phenomenal, both in skill and in coaching."

"LA Phil is a great coach . . . He helped fix my voice tonality and body positioning when opening girls. He was really good at pushing me into difficult sets."

"Go for a one-on-one with LA Phil. You will improve drastically after one session as long as you stay focused and aware."

Brad P.

Voted #1 Pickup Artist in the World