Dominant Conversation

Women are attracted to dominant guys. In the early stages of seduction, my dominance is on full display.

Some guys overestimate the importance of conversation in pickup, and some underrate it. The truth is, it depends on the profile of woman you’re interacting with. Regardless, some sort of conversation is part of virtually every pickup.

I agree with the general consensus that presence (body language, positioning, voice tone, and fashion) is probably more important, but it must be developed concurrently with verbals. It goes without saying that these conversational ideas work best with killer (dominant) presence.

How can you extend your dominance into verbal interaction?

  • Cut off undesired threads, aka conversational subjects. Remember you don’t need to transition smoothly when you introduce your new thread. If the conversation is going somewhere that doesn’t lead to something that will help me — increasing attraction, connections, rapport, comfort, sexual excitement, etc. — I’ll cut it right off. Threads like politics, religion, injury and death are almost always out. I have no problem being totally uncompromising about what I will and will not talk about. That’s a dominant attitude. Develop that attitude.
  • Cut people off. It sounds rude. Sometimes it is rude. But that’s just the type of guy I am. I am unconcerned about whether people dislike me or even think I’m rude. I never go out of my way to be rude, of course. However I will definitely talk over someone if I think what I have to say is more important. I don’t constantly cut people off or anything, but I will do it without hesitation if I want to say something. I often combine this with cutting/starting a new thread, which is especially effective.
  • Listen selectively. While I hear everything that is said in conversation, I only acknowledge the things which I like. What is it I like? I like friendly banter. I like sexual innuendo. I like flirting. I like making a connection, finding commonalities. I like sharing logistics (how we can get to sex location). She says some things that don’t fit into those categories, and I’ll just ignore them, and move on with the convo. This guideline takes care of most of the tests she’ll throw at you.
  • Talk loud and clear. More of a presence thing, but I’ll include it here because it bears repeating. Keep your throat relaxed and speak in the lowest part of your range that is comfortable. (At high volume, this may not be very low.) Range of voice tone and style is very important as well. Develop your commanding tone, your feminine tone, your seductive/bedroom tone.
  • Master conversational timing. The dramatic pause is so underused these days. It’s just as powerful as ever. As a natural improvisor, I love to put myself on the spot and challenge myself to come up with something off the cuff. A lot of time long pauses result while I think of what to say, which makes it even more powerful. But you don’t need to improv to use pauses. Pauses bring routines to life. They’re essential for humor, as well. Speed up your flow a little for high-energy openers, and slow way down for seduction. A girl can even have an orgasm if you speak softly and sensually enough into her ear . . .
  • Develop your repertoire. Be dominant in all your role-plays (she’s the nurse, you’re the doctor, NOT the patient), and that you come of effortlessly cool and chill (not tryhard) in your stories (“Yeah my friends were really frightened. I just thought it was funny.”). Canned material tends to come off pretty dominant in general, because you’re running the show — you are taking the conversation in a very specific direction during it. That’s one of the secrets to self-scripts, or routines that you make up. Develop routines for every part of the pickup, from opener to sex.
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6 Responses to “Dominant Conversation”

  1. 1 R May 28, 2011 at 11:36 pm

    Well put sir.

  2. 2 Kerry May 29, 2011 at 5:38 pm


    How does a shorter guy show dominance? I think this is prefer women like taller guys.

    How does a shorter guy project the dominance of a taller guy?

    • 3 laphil May 30, 2011 at 10:47 am

      All the techniques listed in this post work to show dominance over anyone in the group. If you lead a conversation in a group, you will be dominant over every guy and girl, and you will get attraction consistently, no matter your height. I’ve done it over and over and over and…

      • 4 Sam May 30, 2011 at 8:01 pm


        Being 5 ft 4 which is very short for a guy, I can’t tell you how useful and inspiring it is to hear your success stories and useful advice on game for short guys.

        All too often we seem to fall into a role we expect society to assign us. In truth, you create your own image that others see. The ONLY issue with being short in pickup is if YOU yourself see it to be a problem.

        It was in part due to some of your posts that led me to realise the issue was in my head not anywhere else, and that was enough for it to simply not be a problem any more.

        Please keep it up and continue to be a role model for short guys learning pickup everywhere!


  3. 6 Lex June 2, 2011 at 7:39 am

    Great post. Pauses are also dominant, in a subtle way. It affirms that you have the right to own the moment. In a lot of situations when people are nervous, they talk too fast.

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