Sexual Innuendo

Students get confused sometimes when they hear that they should “be sexual” with women. “Being sexual” has a few components: sexual body language, sexual voice tone, sexual kino (touching), and sexual verbals.

Sexual verbals are not well understood by many students. Most understand how to do dirty talk or direct sexual talk, but that is generally not used until end game or relationship game. Sexual verbals in the early part of an interaction with a new person usually take the form of sexual innuendo.

Sean Connery 007

Sexual innuendo is the art of bringing a sexual frame indirectly into conversation. In that way, it is also a form of frame control. Watch out for anything that can be reinterpreted in a sexual context: people, things, and events in your environment, words that are said or overheard, etc.

Sexual innuendos are often created using double entendres. A double entendre results when one says or interprets words said before in a (presumably unintended) sexual way. This is similar to the game of “That’s what she said” which in itself is a humorous sexual innuendo game you can play with women. Women appreciate this type of humor, since it is indirect and relies on close observation of various levels of social interaction.

Some examples of ways sexual innuendo can be created:

1. Riff off something you yourself say:
She: “I’m sick today.”
Me: “Aw, you’re sick? If I were there I would make you hot soup and rub your head in my lap — and then I’d rub something else…”

2. Riff off something she says:
She: “The pink fruit bars taste terrible.”
Me: “Good, I have a purple one. But maybe I’ll taste your pink fruit later.”

3. Once you have set up a sexual undertone to the conversation, you can riff off something that isn’t even remotely sexual, but use emphasis to make it sound sexual:
She: “I’m watching TV with my friends.”
Me: “Oh, you’re watching tee-VEE huh?”

Part of the fun of innuendos is that they can be denied, since they depend on delivery, tone, and context. It’s especially fun to deny an innuendo when it is delivered on the obvious side.

She: “Open it up and see if you can squeeze it in.”
Me: “Oh yeah, I’ll squeeze it in, baby.”
She: “Oh my god, that’s not what I meant!”
Me: “What? I was just agreeing with you… Baby.”

Denying an innuendo like this has the added benefit of confusing her. Or, try denying the third type of innuendo above, the kind where there isn’t even a sexual context to refer to — it’s even easier to deny and more confusing. Women love not knowing where they stand in a conversation with a man. It means he is mentally dominant.

Delivery of sexual innuendos can be subtle or very obvious, depending on the situation and desired effect. By “subtle” I mean that you don’t particularly emphasize the innuendo, and “obvious” is when you do emphasize it. Here is a little chart with the levels of subtlety and their effect:

very subtle (no emphasis) = unconscious/subconscious sexual undertone
subtle = confusion and/or subconscious sexual undertone
medium = sexual undertone and/or slight humor
obvious = sexual overtone and/or humor
very obvious = slight sexual overtone and/or silly over-the-top humor

I find the sweet spot is somewhere between subtle and medium on this chart — a medium-subtle delivery. That is because it rides the line between confusiom, sexual tone, and humor. Sometimes you can pitch it just right and get all three. If your innuendo is getting your woman horny, try increasing the emphasis. If she rolls her eyes, chances are you need to be more subtle.

For women that are more socially aware/sophisticated, shift your range of delivery more toward the subtle side; a little emphasis goes a long way with them.

You can vary the delivery over the course of an interaction to lead the mood in the direction you want to go. Or, if you’re finding one type of delivery is not working, you can switch it up. In fact, veering between extremes of delivery can be an effective technique in and of itself. For example, you could use obvious humorous delivery, then drop sexual innuendo entirely and opt for direct dominant sexual statements.

The subtlest forms of sexual innuendo are things like the embedded commands that NLP experts specialize in. The great thing is that a lot of times, making them obvious is just as effective. That’s one of the principles of seduction, actually: her level of awareness that she is being seduced is not related to the effectiveness of the seduction. Sometimes her being aware of the seduction can even be helpful.


6 Responses to “Sexual Innuendo”

  1. 1 LIthius April 25, 2011 at 9:40 am

    understood almost everything but am a little confused with the chart. can you please give an example for each of the tones mentioned within the chart? like:

    very subtle (no emphasis) = unconscious/subconscious sexual undertone (example here)
    subtle = confusion and/or subconscious sexual undertone (example here)
    medium = sexual undertone and/or slight humor (example here)
    obvious = sexual overtone and/or humor (example here)
    very obvious = slight sexual overtone and/or silly over-the-top humor (example here)

    thanks in advance. great post.

  2. 2 laphil April 25, 2011 at 10:39 am

    Hey Lithius. Good question. Here are my explanations. Keep in mind there are many ways to use emphasis in speech. These are just examples.

    Very subtle = you deliver the sexual innuendo right along with everything else you’re saying, not drawing any attention to it by changing voice tone, volume, speed etc.
    Subtle = you emphasize the innuendo slightly by using a tiny amount of vocal emphasis, timing, maybe eye contact, etc.
    Medium = you probably alter your vocal inflection and maybe even use gestures and/or eye contact
    Obvious = here you use a lot of vocal inflection, maybe louder, and perhaps kino and other body language to emphasize the innuendo
    Very Obvious = use both vocal inflection and body language (like facing her directly with eye contact and kino e.g.) to give tons of emphasis to the innuendo

  3. 3 Sammydee April 29, 2011 at 4:41 am

    Not really related to innuendo, just a general question on short guy game and physical communication:

    I am 5ft4 so really quite short. I don’t know if it’s my conversation/body language style or my physical appearance that’s causing it but girls in clubs seem to get quite physical with me very fast. This can take the form of ass-slapping, poking, prodding, cheek pinching or even face-slapping or hitting if I say something a little cheeky. A lot of the time I see this as something of a test, i.e. the girls are seeing if they can dominate you physically. Perhaps I am looking at this the wrong way but I can’t help but think that if I had a larger presence, the girls would be too intimidated to do this to me, they only feel they can get away with it because I look like the cute little guy. I often have little idea how to respond, usually I flick them off in a slightly irritated way although this often makes them want to prod me or poke me even more. If a girl slaps me or touches my face I will try to grab her hand and pull her in close and tell her either I kinda like rough girls or something along the lines of don’t do that little girl you don’t know who you are dealing with, but this doesn’t always work. When in doubt I just touch them back the exact same way that they just touched me to show I am not intimidated by them.

    I don’t see much discussion of physical interactions on the usual places where people discuss game and I feel it is especially important when you are short and can’t dominate a girl with your physical presence alone. Would greatly appreciate your insights on this LAPhil. Perhaps you could even write a blog post on how you deal with physical interactions/touching, that would be absolutely fantastic.


  4. 4 laphil April 29, 2011 at 10:03 am

    Hey Sam that’s a really good question. First off, I’ll say that if girls are touching you a lot, that’s a GOOD sign. Maybe with a bigger guy, she would just swat his arm or his chest or something instead of touching you in various places, but the principle is valid: reverse kino (girls touching you) is a GREEN LIGHT TO ESCALATE. I like your verbal responses. But I don’t agree with your interpretation of it as a test. Simply take it as a GIANT IOI when girls touch you. It means you can escalate that much faster. Next time a girl is touching you a lot, move forward. Generally that means getting her logistics, then taking the interaction forward to the next step, whatever that means — usually isolation, bouncing, makeout, feeling titties, etc. Basically, the more a girl touches you, the faster you ought to move toward sex. Also, you didn’t mention ass-spanking as one of your responses. I’ll usually spank after a girl touches me intimately (like hair or face e.g.) a few times in a row.

    • 5 Sammydee April 29, 2011 at 8:25 pm

      Hey Phil

      Thanks that is really helpful information. One more thing though, how do you react if girls touch you aggressively or almost violently. Case in point: the other day I was involved with a twoset, the girl grinded with me a bit, I spun her round and pulled her in so our faces were maybe 2 inches apart. She didn’t pull away or push me away, instead she boxed me lightly in the ears. After that she mock elbowed me in the face once and prodded me a lot. I don’t think she meant any of that to actually hurt me but I’m really quite sure she was attracted so I was confused as to why she was acting in this way. I know from experience that if girls want you to leave, they will not hesitate to tell you as rudely and obviously as possible, and I don’t think this girl wanted me to leave.

      Do you think this is a problem with my presentation/game that is provoking this reaction? Or maybe she just likes to get a bit rough? What is the appropriate way to deal with that kind of interaction?

      Thanks again for your insights!

      • 6 laphil April 30, 2011 at 10:09 am

        She just likes to get a bit rough. I actually don’t like to play that rough (maybe it has to do with being small) so I’ll do something like grab her wrist firmly (but not super hard), look her directly in the eye, and say something along the lines of “play nice, little girl.” Next time she does it, I might go with whispering/speaking softly this in her ear: “Listen, I know you’re horny, but you’ll have to bottle up all that playfighting until later.”

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