Students get confused sometimes when they hear that they should “be sexual” with women. “Being sexual” has a few components: sexual body language, sexual voice tone, sexual kino (touching), and sexual verbals.
Sexual verbals are not well understood by many students. Most understand how to do dirty talk or direct sexual talk, but that is generally not used until end game or relationship game. Sexual verbals in the early part of an interaction with a new person usually take the form of sexual innuendo.
Sexual innuendo is the art of bringing a sexual frame indirectly into conversation. In that way, it is also a form of frame control. Watch out for anything that can be reinterpreted in a sexual context: people, things, and events in your environment, words that are said or overheard, etc.
Sexual innuendos are often created using double entendres. A double entendre results when one says or interprets words said before in a (presumably unintended) sexual way. This is similar to the game of “That’s what she said” which in itself is a humorous sexual innuendo game you can play with women. Women appreciate this type of humor, since it is indirect and relies on close observation of various levels of social interaction.
Some examples of ways sexual innuendo can be created:
1. Riff off something you yourself say:
She: “I’m sick today.”
Me: “Aw, you’re sick? If I were there I would make you hot soup and rub your head in my lap — and then I’d rub something else…”
2. Riff off something she says:
She: “The pink fruit bars taste terrible.”
Me: “Good, I have a purple one. But maybe I’ll taste your pink fruit later.”
3. Once you have set up a sexual undertone to the conversation, you can riff off something that isn’t even remotely sexual, but use emphasis to make it sound sexual:
She: “I’m watching TV with my friends.”
Me: “Oh, you’re watching tee-VEE huh?”
Part of the fun of innuendos is that they can be denied, since they depend on delivery, tone, and context. It’s especially fun to deny an innuendo when it is delivered on the obvious side.
She: “Open it up and see if you can squeeze it in.”
Me: “Oh yeah, I’ll squeeze it in, baby.”
She: “Oh my god, that’s not what I meant!”
Me: “What? I was just agreeing with you… Baby.”
Denying an innuendo like this has the added benefit of confusing her. Or, try denying the third type of innuendo above, the kind where there isn’t even a sexual context to refer to — it’s even easier to deny and more confusing. Women love not knowing where they stand in a conversation with a man. It means he is mentally dominant.
Delivery of sexual innuendos can be subtle or very obvious, depending on the situation and desired effect. By “subtle” I mean that you don’t particularly emphasize the innuendo, and “obvious” is when you do emphasize it. Here is a little chart with the levels of subtlety and their effect:
very subtle (no emphasis) = unconscious/subconscious sexual undertone
subtle = confusion and/or subconscious sexual undertone
medium = sexual undertone and/or slight humor
obvious = sexual overtone and/or humor
very obvious = slight sexual overtone and/or silly over-the-top humor
I find the sweet spot is somewhere between subtle and medium on this chart — a medium-subtle delivery. That is because it rides the line between confusiom, sexual tone, and humor. Sometimes you can pitch it just right and get all three. If your innuendo is getting your woman horny, try increasing the emphasis. If she rolls her eyes, chances are you need to be more subtle.
For women that are more socially aware/sophisticated, shift your range of delivery more toward the subtle side; a little emphasis goes a long way with them.
You can vary the delivery over the course of an interaction to lead the mood in the direction you want to go. Or, if you’re finding one type of delivery is not working, you can switch it up. In fact, veering between extremes of delivery can be an effective technique in and of itself. For example, you could use obvious humorous delivery, then drop sexual innuendo entirely and opt for direct dominant sexual statements.
The subtlest forms of sexual innuendo are things like the embedded commands that NLP experts specialize in. The great thing is that a lot of times, making them obvious is just as effective. That’s one of the principles of seduction, actually: her level of awareness that she is being seduced is not related to the effectiveness of the seduction. Sometimes her being aware of the seduction can even be helpful.